A Promise Made is a Promise Kept
by SunnydaleGirl
Summary: Angelus looks to collect on a promise made to Willow.
1. Chapter One

**Summary:** Angelus made a promise to a certain redheaded witch and intends to keep it. Will Willow do what is right to save her friends or will she follow her heart and cause their demise?

**Disclaimer:** It's all owned by Joss.

**Rating:** PG, maybe PG-13.

**Pairings:** C/X, L/Wes, W/S, W/Aus.

**Author's Note:** First and foremost: **Angelus was never re-souled!!** At the end of Becoming Part II _Angelus killed Buffy_ after she destroyed the statue of Acathla – thereby stopping Angelus from destroying the world. This fic is set approximately two years later with Angelus still alive and terrorizing the Scooby gang. Why? Because Jenny Calendar never saved the soul restoration spell to disk. Moving on, Kendra never existed and a different Slayer, named Laurel, was sent to Sunnydale with her Watcher Wesley – yes, the _same_ Wesley minus the drooling J. Giles, Xander and Cordelia are still there and Spike has joined the team as well seeing as he has this huge grudge against Angelus and all. Alright, now **read the story** 'cause I'm exhausted!

          "This is getting ridiculous," a pretty brunette sighed as she gently closed the book before her. "How many years have we been kicking his ass?" There was silence among her fellow researchers so she continued, "And how many times are we going to let him slip by? I know I can take him out but you guys keep pulling me away."

          "We don't pull you away," the quiet redhead beside her responded, "we keep you safe."

          Sighing, the brunette ran her fingers through her hair. "I know that's what you think but in reality you're holding me back from becoming what I need to be."

          "That's not true," the redhead whispered. "We'd never do that to you. We _want_ you to be the best that you can but you're not ready to face him yet."

          Jumping to her feet the young brunette turned defensive and locked her friend in an accusing glare. "Why not? I've been training two years for this and you want to deny me of it?" No one responded. "It's not fair and I won't accept it."

          "I don't give a damn whether or not you think it's fair," the redhead retaliated. "You will _not_ face him alone. I refuse to go through that again." Pressing her hands over her mouth the redhead turned away from the younger girl and tried to hide her tears.

          Realizing her mistake the brunette wrapped her arms around her friend and said, "Oh, Willow I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of that."

          "Don't apologize, Laurel," Willow pulled away from the brown-headed Slayer. "I cornered you into it, it's my fault."

          "No," Laurel disagreed, "it's mine. I got hotheaded, again, like I always do."

          "Laurel – "

          "We all agree it was no one's fault," Xander chimed in then added when the two women turned sharp eyes on him, "You two would go at it all day if I didn't say anything, and you both know it."

          Rolling their eyes Willow and Laurel took their seats again and opened the books sitting in front of them. It was another Saturday night for the Sunnydale Scooby Gang, though only three of its members had showed up at Giles' apartment so far. Giles and Wesley, the "rogue" Watchers, were still at the Magic Shop buying whatever it was they bought there; Cordelia was stuck at Twinkie duty; and Spike, well the undead Q-tip was out in search of "dinner". That left, of course, Xander, Willow and Laurel to main research duty.

          Angelus had attempted, again, to end the world and the Scooby's had, again, stopped him but Laurel had been right, Willow thought: they did keep her back, to a degree. Laurel was young, yes, but older than Buffy was when she faced her old lover and the gang knew she could handle herself against Angelus, but alone? Willow refused to allow it and refused to even consider it. Angelus was not to be killed as easily as her friends thought. Okay, Willow reasoned with herself, so the gang's been thwarting his plans for over two years now and it seems that he's starting to slip a bit but he's _not_. Willow knew Angelus, knew what he was capable of, knew his mind and she knew that he was far from finished.

          Angelus still had a promise to keep to a certain redheaded witch.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

          "So what's the undead pain in the ass up to this time?" Cordelia smiled to her three friends and dropped the plastic shopping bags she carried onto the table – which were immediately torn apart by Xander who was in search of Ho-Ho's and cola. "Better not be trying another body switch 'cause, let me tell you, I can not handle being in Wesley's body again," she said with a dramatic shiver.

          Xander, Willow and Laurel laughed, all remembering three weeks before when Angelus hired a Shaman to do a little mojo and swap the Scooby's bodies – Cordelia _had_ ended up in Wesley's body but he had ended up in Willow's; Giles had been stuck in Xander's body and Xander in Cordelia's; Laurel and Spike were swapped for each other; and Willow had landed smack-dab inside of Giles' body. It had been the latest attack on the Scooby's by Angelus but not the strangest of them. Five month's before Angelus had somehow managed to curse the gang so everything they said was spoken in rhyme and sung. Two months before that he had trapped the gang in an alternate universe where they were forced to live their most terrifying nightmares. Four and a half months before that Angelus had tempted the Scooby's to an abandoned mansion and locked them inside where they were subjected to a sort of twisted rat maze complete with flesh-eating zombies, chainsaw massacre-men and a hunk of cheese at the center.

          Needless to say Angelus enjoyed toying with the Scooby gang but every time he tried to slip past their radar he was caught and his plans destroyed. Angelus was getting impatient but never stupid in his playing of the game. He was an exceptional stagiest and, on several occasions, almost succeeded in outsmarting the gang. Only one thing kept the Scooby's from being beaten: Willow.

          "No nothing like that," Willow laughed, "just your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill demon this time."

          "Oh," Cordelia dropped down onto the couch beside Xander and handed him the Ho-Ho package he was searching for. "Angelus is taking another breather from Slayer Central torture?"

          "So it appears," Willow answered.

          "Well, good because I'm in need of a least a week's worth of full night sleep," Cordelia said while popping the top of a soda can.

          Laurel unwrapped a burger from Bill's Burger Barn and took a bite before saying, "I'll just be happy to be doing a little normal slaying for a while."

          "It's times like this I wish for the Bronze," Cordelia sighed and Xander nodded his agreement, mumbling something with a mouth full of Ho-Ho.

          "What's the Bronze?" Laurel asked.

          "Used to be club," Willow answered. "Back in high school it was _the_ place to hang out but it got destroyed before you came here."

          "Destroyed how?"

          "Angelus," Xander answered. "Decided to throw a groovy little vamp buffet, Buffy showed up, they fought, Angelus lost, got pissed and put a torch to the place."

          "It was such a shame," Cordelia said. "The Bronze was the _only_ cool place to hang out. Now we have some want-to-be knockoff called the Silver Lining."

          The three Sunnydale natives fell into reminiscing and telling stories of the Old Sunnydale – as they liked to call it – when Buffy was still alive and saving the world; before Wesley showed up and Giles was the go-to man for answers; when Angelus was still Angel and so in love with Buffy. Laurel never fully understood the pain that showed so deeply in her friends' eyes at the mention of the former Slayer and she never would because Laurel had never known Buffy; never known how utterly self-less she was when it came to her friends and how devotedly she accepted her destiny even though she hated it at times. Buffy had been the core of the original Scooby gang, its spirit and strength and even Spike agreed that Buffy had been the greatest Slayer in generations – possibly _ever_ – and not because of her fighting ability or Slayer skills but because she was motivated by her love for her friends and supported by them wholeheartedly. Those were things Laurel would never understand and her friends almost pitied her for it.

          "Now, by then he was all shades of confused and practically stumbled over his words, 'You were destined to die. It was written'," Xander said, speaking of what befell between Buffy and the Master just before she killed him.

          "And Buffy," Cordelia put it, "being the smart-ass she was said, 'What can I say? I flunked the written'. Then they fought and fought some more before the Master cornered Buffy."

          "My god!" Laurel exclaimed.

          Smiling, Willow picked up the story, "So then the Master said, 'Where are your jibes now? Will you laugh when my hell is on earth?'"

          Now on the edge of her seat Laurel asked, "What did she do?"

          "'You're that amped about hell?' Buffy asked. 'Go there!' Next thing we all knew down in the library the Master came falling through the glass and landed square on a snapped piece of staircase."

          "Poof," Cordelia gesticulated with her hands. "Bye-bye Master, hello saved world."

          "That's amazing," Laurel sighed.

          Sitting back in her seat Willow smiled and said, "Buffy was amazing."


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

          "Bloody wanker," Spike muttered to himself walking into Giles' apartment. "Had half a mind to rip his bloody head off."

          "Which you won't," Laurel smiled, "because if you do then I get to put a stake through your heart and rid the world of one more undead pain in the ass."

          Xander and Willow laughed when Spike stopped short and looked at the three with a deer-in-the-headlights expression. "What? Not happy to see us?" Xander asked.

          "You? No," Spike recovered his ability to speak. "And you," he turned to Laurel. "You'd really put a stake through my heart?"

          "Hmm. Let me think about it. Yup."

          "Oh, that hurts," Spike mocked.

          "You're a big boy," Laurel smiled. "I think you'll recover."

          It was strange, Willow thought, William the Bloody – one of the most feared vampires in the world and second only to Angelus – and the Slayer being friends and trusting each other with their lives. The Council was having a heart attack but they never stepped in to intervene. Why? Because as much as they disagreed with her tactics Buffy had been a great Slayer and it was due, in part, to her relationships and the support she received from her friends. So when Laurel was called they never hesitated in sending her to Sunnydale where she would be accepted into the Scooby's lives and loved as Buffy was.

          "Where the hell are twiddle tweed and twiddle tweeder?"

          "There still shopping," Laurel responded to Spike.

          "Like a pair of bloody teenage girls."

          Swapping the book she was holding for another she had yet to sort through Willow rested her head on Spike's shoulder, letting her lover wrap his arm about her waist. Willow, however, was not reading the pages of the old, leather-bound book. She was busy getting lost in her thoughts. It had been more than two years since Buffy was killed and Angelus took control of Sunnydale. It was no longer safe for the average Sunnydale resident to prance around town after sunset and none of the once happy, giving people of Sunnydale would even dare to speak to someone they didn't know, let alone invite them inside their homes. Sunnydale now lived in fear, though hope still remained because every time things began to look their darkest the Scooby's always managed to quell the danger and bring a bit of light back to their small town. Their deeds, though, always went unappreciated for the townspeople never really knew of just how close existence had come to ending on several occasions.

          The darkest time had been just after Buffy's death. Angelus fell into a rage, having been thwarted and finding his precious statue of Acathla smashed into a thousand pieces – courtesy of Buffy who had managed, with what little strength she had left, to bring the statue down from its dais. He lashed out and focused his vengeance upon the Scooby's who, without Buffy, were slim in ways of defense. In truth, Willow was their only defense because only she had the use of magic and could manipulate various spells and curses to ward Angelus and keep his destruction at bay.

          It had been Willow's strength that drew Angelus to her and it had been her weakness that drew Willow to him.

          "What's the emergency this time?" Giles asked casually walking into his apartment, followed by Wesley.

          "Just a demon," Cordelia answered.

          "Taken a bit of siesta, is he?"

          "Apparently so," Willow sighed, closing her book and standing to her feet. "But I don't like it."

          The others exchanged glances. They knew by then to listen when Willow voiced her concerns regarding Angelus. Her instincts had never once failed them and they had learned to pay heed to them, even when they seemed far fetched. No one really understood Willow's intimate knowledge of Angelus' mind or how, exactly, she knew what he was planning before he even acted. But she did and, honestly, it scared her friends – especially Spike who loved Willow.

          "What is it, Wills?" Laurel asked. "Have another one of your Angelus vibes?"

          Willow smiled. "Something like that."

          "So, spill," Xander urged.

          "It just doesn't feel right," Willow said. "To hit us with a mind-switching spell which, we can all agree, is simple even for Angelus, then switch straight to an even lower rank by brining in a not-so-incredible demon? It's not his style. Angelus likes show and flash; he likes to get his point known and then push it beyond the limits. Angelus cuts and then rubs the wound with salt." Willow paused, letting her eyes fall across each of her friends. "He's planning something, something big. I _feel_ it in the pricking of an icy chill along my spine and in the weight of my heart. Angelus has taken a step back but he's going to lunge forward and I'm afraid that we may not be able to stop him."

          Silence. No one had even the slightest idea how to respond. Willow had, in the vaguest sense, just prophesized their failure and, in effect, the destruction of existence. How does one respond to that?

          "What do we do?"

          Willow shrugged and shook her head. "I couldn't even fathom a guess. I have no earthy idea what he's planning, only that it'll be like nothing we've ever faced before."

          Laurel jumped to her feet. "We attack first."

          "How?" Xander asked. "We don't know where to find him, never have. We only know when he acts. Angelus always plays the first move."

          "Then it's time we take the initiative," the young Slayer announced.

           All eyes turned to her but it was Giles that asked, "What did you have in mind?"

          "We use the only weapon we have," Laurel set her eyes upon Willow, "as bait and draw him to us."


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

          It was a bad idea, an extremely bad idea, but it was the only idea they had. So the idea became the plan and their defense became their bait. Laurel had eagerly stepped into command mode and gave orders like she'd been doing it all her life. It was during such times, when the gang was in the middle of a crisis that the brown-headed Slayer so reminded Willow of Buffy who had always switched from teenage girl to saver of the world just as quickly and with just as little thought.

          It was in Laurel's blood, the urge to step up and take control of the situation and she did it with grace and ease. It was her destiny to plot the destruction of her enemies and voluntarily place herself at the greatest risk and Laurel did so with dignity. It was Laurel's birth right to be instinctual and tactful and she did it with savvy. Despite having been given the burden of carrying the world upon her shoulders and the gifts to balance it Laurel was humble and for that Willow deeply admired the young Slayer.

          Through the morning and into the evening the Scooby gang drew out a strategy – bickering, disagreeing, arguing. All the while Willow sat in silence and prayed for the strength to do what was asked of her. It was the thought of facing Angelus that frightened Willow, not Angelus himself. Willow had long since ceased to fear the sadistic man who had once so plagued her. And though she'd never admit as much allowed Willow found herself admiring Angelus for his patient, calculating and utterly brilliant mind and Willow was never fool enough to underestimate him.

          Angelus was dangerous, yes, but so was Willow.

          "Okay," Laurel yawned, stretching her stiff back. "So everyone understands what it is they're supposed to do?"

          There were nods and the Scooby's meeting was dismissed.

          While she and Spike walked back to their apartment Willow thought through the plan in her mind, over and over again. Giles and Wesley were going to cast a spell in order to draw Angelus' thoughts towards Willow, hopefully without him realizing his mind was being manipulated. In the meantime, Cordelia and Xander were to get word spread through various demon contacts, via subtle hints, that Willow was growing weak in thanks to the psychic attacks of a Kaysha demon and, to boost, left relatively unguarded by her friends who were busy trying to defeat the demon. Laurel and Spike, when the time came, were to persuade a couple of Angelus' minions to deliver a message to Angelus, without giving up who sent it, and pass on to Angelus Willow's locket, which held a picture of Buffy and never left her neck, to convince him that Willow truly was defenseless and unguarded and ripe for the picking.

          It was a bad idea but Willow never argued against it.

          "Words spreading fast," Spike announced a week later stepping into Giles' apartment. "Demon underground is all abuzz with the news that Willow may be down for the count." To the demon world Willow was the alpha enemy, even more so than Laurel herself, because it was Willow that guided Laurel and influenced the young Slayer as to her decisions. Willow was the brains of the Scooby operation and vulnerable only to Angelus which, Willow knew, meant Angelus was well aware of the rumors and, if Giles and Wesley's spell had worked correctly, had bent his every thought to how to claim the redheaded witch.

          Phase one was complete and it was now time to move on to phase two: bait and lure.

          "Message delivered," Laurel and Spike returned from patrol the next night. "Smearing your blood over the locket was a good idea. The vamps picked up the scent before we got anywhere near them. Angelus is searching for you Wills."

          "Then let's not disappoint him," Willow said flatly.

          Willow was positive that Angelus' minions had taken note that Willow was privy to strolling the park, alone, almost every night and had reported such information back to Angelus. It must also be known, Willow thought, that as of late her strolls had become more frequent and she often muttered nonsense to herself while she walked – courtesy of the demon that was draining her of her mind. Willow also knew Angelus believed the lure the gang had set because since the rumor had been circulated she often felt the presence of at least two vampires following her in the shadows. Angelus was stalking her and it was only a matter of time before he made his presence known.

          "Hello, my love."

          Her heart stopped and her blood turned cold. She felt her body begin to tremble and doubted, for a moment, if she had the strength to follow through. His voice purred and fell like silk over her and Willow felt powerless to refuse him. For two years Willow believed she had overcome her weakness for him; believed herself immune to the smooth charm he dangled before her eyes. But she wasn't.

          Finding herself unable to move Willow closed her eyes and tried not to respond to his light touch upon her shoulder. Fingertips cold as ice against her flesh; breath sweet and chilling caressing her cheek; lips possessing and teasing set upon her neck. She felt herself melt beneath his touch and barely heard her own voice murmur his name, "Angelus."

          Images flashed in her mind. Images of a time long ago, a time she tried so hard to forget. A time when Angelus had possessed her, body and mind. Two years had it been since Willow last felt his touch or heard his voice. Two years since she craved that touch and that voice. It flooded her mind, standing there looking into his eyes, a past she despised herself for.

          Angelus had kidnapped Willow only days after Buffy's defeat and held her captive for three months before releasing her. Willow had told her friends what she knew they wanted to hear and kept to herself the truth. Angelus had seduced the young redhead and though Willow refused his advances in the beginning her immunity to Angelus slowly faded until she could do nothing but given in to him.

          And there is where it began.

          Angelus never hid from Willow his true nature and Willow never diluted herself in thinking him other than what he was: evil. But as time slipped by Willow stopped desiring a tender love and, after a time, found pleasure only through the pain. Angelus had claimed Willow and broken her then pieced her back together as he saw fit. Willow soon became his masterpiece and he grew to treasure her.

          But there was one thing Angelus desired as much as he did Willow and that was the destruction of the Slayer and her friends. He spent hours describing to Willow how he would destroy the Scooby's one at a time, torturing and enslaving them until they were nothing but hollow shells of human beings in his control. Willow wept to hear such things and begged Angelus to silence his words but Angelus would simply laugh and strike Willow across the cheek, telling her to keep her mouth shut. So, Willow was subjected to such torture night after night until she finally began to accept them as inevitable facts and fell still deeper into Angelus' control.

          All this Willow thought herself rid of. She thought herself stronger than she was before but a single word spoken by Angelus and Willow was once more putty in his hand but this time, she didn't care.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

          "What's the matter lover, cat got your tongue?"

          His voice fell over her like silk: seductive, teasing, always thick with dark charm. She wanted to believe it was a dream – prayed that it was another nightmare.

          Swallowing the hesitation that hung in her throat Willow stretched out a tentative hand and brushed her fingers across his cheek. Skin cold as death and pale as the moon; eyes dark and enchanting; lips full and blush. Tears clung to Willow's eyelashes as her lids fluttered softly shut, a sigh of relief passing through her gentle smile. "Oh, Angelus."

          Gripping her hand in his own Angelus pressed his lips to Willow's palm, placing butterfly kisses along her wrist to the crook of her elbow to her shoulder, neck, cheeks and finally her lips. His kiss was hungry, passionate, fierce and Willow returned it with just as must vigor and need.

          For two years Willow fooled herself, and her friends, into believing that she had put Angelus behind her but one kiss had so easily crumbled all her barriers. "I've missed you, Willow," Angelus grinned. "You've been such a naughty girl, my love. A persistent thorn in my side."

          "The same could be said of you."

          Chuckling, Angelus caressed Willow's cheek, running his fingers through her hair. Gripping the back of Willow's neck – and eliciting from her a painful gasp – Angelus' eyes glowed amber and his tone lowered menacingly, "Oh, how I love your fire but such insolence must be punished."

          Willow didn't flinch from Angelus as his demon visage slipped into view. Instead, she held his gaze defiantly and smiled coyly. "Promise?"

          His demon roared at her defiance and her strength and howled to dominate. Capturing her lips in a brutal kiss Angelus slipped his hands to Willow's hips, his fingers digging into her delicate flesh. Willow hissed when his razor sharp fangs sliced her tongue and moaned when he started to lap at the seething blood with his own.

          That was what Willow had missed most: the pleasure-induced pain. Angelus had spent hours training the redheads body to associate pleasure with pain and Willow had spent hours writhing in his bed, crying first tears of shame and agony then, somewhere amidst those first dark weeks, her cries became ones of pleading and bliss. 

          "They'll come."

          Relaxing his demon Angelus looked down at the redhead in his arms. "Who?"

          "I was supposed to be a Giles' a half hour ago," Willow whispered. "They'll worry and come looking for me."

          Another grin spread across Angelus' lips. "They won't find me."

          Spike found Willow fifteen minutes later lying unconscious in the park, two bite marks still seeping with blood on her neck. Lifting his lover into his arms Spike hurried her back to Giles' where the Scooby's waited with held breath. All of them blamed themselves for Willow's condition and all for differing reasons.

          Exactly what Angelus had hoped for.

          An hour later Willow moaned and opened her eyes. It took her a moment to place herself and another before the pain swelled. The wound on her neck pulsed and her bruising hips ached while a strong pounding lay in her head. Sitting up carefully she became severely aware of the eyes upon her. Looking up, a bit uncomfortably, Willow saw Giles, Spike, Xander, Cordelia, Wesley and Laurel watching her with obvious expectancy.

          Groaning and rolling her eyes Willow pushed herself to her feet and shuffled her way into the bathroom to shower. Standing beneath the hot water Willow revealed in the steady throb of her body and the lingering fire of Angelus' kiss. He had promised to return to her and she was only counting the hours.

          "Willow?"

          Tossing the wet towel back into the bathroom the redhead ran her fingers through her damp hair and pulled on a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt. Opening the door and stepping out of the Giles' guest bedroom Willow smiled at Laurel. "What's up munchkin?"

          Laurel and Wesley exchanged glances that spoke volumes between the lovers. Willow read only worry in their eyes. "Don't you want to tell us something?"

          Shrugging, Willow brushed past the young Slayer and into the kitchen to grab something to eat. "No. Why? Is there something I'm supposed to tell you?"

          "Willow, Spike found you lying unconscious in the park."

          "I'm aware of that Wesley," Willow said while popping a bite-size cookie into her mouth.

          Another exchange of glances between the lovers and that time Willow read confusion. "How did you get there?"

          Swallowing another cookie Willow looked at the two with her own expectant confusion. "I walked."

          Both Laurel and Wesley grew angry then for Willow's obvious attempt to dodge the question. Inwardly Willow was grinning, taking enjoyment in watching them sputter around their words. Willow knew, of course, what had happened and why Spike had found her unconscious. It was, after all, her idea.

          After explaining to Angelus that her friends were bent on finding him and destroying him, Willow suggested that to take a bit of the pressure from the Scooby's efforts to track Angelus down – "which they'll do," Willow had confirmed – they stage an attack on Willow so as to give Angelus time to better secure his protection against the Scooby's "radar". Angelus had grinned and agreed.

          Willow had hated herself for placing him before her friends but what choice did she have? She was bound to Angelus and he to her. For all eternity only Angelus would be able to entrap Willow's heart and imprison her soul and she had grown tired of trying to deny it.

          "Wills, love," Spike eyed the redhead hurtfully. "What happened to you?"

          Willow shrugged. "Vampire."

          Narrowing his eyes Spike gripped Willow's arms and starred into her eyes. "Don't pull that nonchalant shit with me, red," he warned oblivious to the others watching the interaction with great interest. "I can smell him all over you."

          Shrugging out of Spike's grip Willow met his eyes defiantly. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Spike."

          Sadness crept into the blonde vampires eyes and he shook his head miserably. "I don't know what's happening to you, Willow. Why have you shuttered yourself against me? Why won't you talk to me?"

          Willow's face remained like stone as she lifted her head. "There's nothing to say, Spike."


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

          He always got to her. Always. Even when he was days away he could always worm his way under her skin. The harder she tried to push him back the quicker he latched on. They had noticed it, of course, but at the beginning they had chalked it up to "after kidnapping" jitters and she let them think that. How could she tell them that he had sunk his fangs into her heart and refused to let go? How could she tell them that she had let him, encouraged him, and made him swear to never let go? They'd never understand, not now. It's been too long to pull the "jitters card" again. She was forced to conceal her desire and her secrets beneath layers of carefully built lies and perfectly drawn smiles.

          But the act was getting heavier and heavier and Willow felt her foundation beginning to crack.

          Dropping down beside Spike on the couch Willow took his hand between her own and sighed. "I'm sorry."

          Lacing his fingers between hers Spike starred at Willow's hand for a moment before responding, "What happened?"

          Shrugging Willow said, "You already know pretty much everything."

          "Pretty much isn't good enough."

          "I know," Willow nodded tracing the lines along Spike's palm. "It's just, it's hard, Spike. It's so hard."

          Tilting Willow's chin Spike forced her eyes to meet his. "I understand, love. Believe me, I understand and I can help you through this if you let me."

          Smiling slightly Willow kissed Spike's palm and let it drop back to her lap, still wrapped between her own small hands. "I've told you about it," Willow began. "About the kidnapping, but it happened before you came back. You never saw me, how I was after he let me go. I was a complete wreck and half-mad, raving like a loon and muttering to myself."

          "He did the same thing to Dru," Spike commented, "before he turned her."

          "No," Willow looked up suddenly, shaking her head. "Angelus didn't drive me crazy. Being away from him drove me crazy. Angelus withdrawals, the others called it and they were right. For weeks I craved him. I dreamt of him – of his touch, his kiss, his embrace. I wanted only him and I died everyday without him."

          Spike had gone still and his grip tightened around Willow's. He didn't want to hear this, Willow knew. He didn't want to know just how desperately Willow had wanted Angelus and how permanently he had wound himself around her being. No, Spike didn't want to know but he _needed_ to know.

          Hesitantly Willow met Spike's eyes but quickly lowered her gaze. "He held me for three months and for thee months he tore me down and rebuilt me. The things he did, they were…I can't even talk about them. He started slowly with his torture then added more bit by bit, day by day until I was begging for it. Twisted and black my soul had forgotten pleasure and replaced it with pain. I needed the pain, craved the pain, begged for the pain. Angelus knew just how to tease me and please me until I lay writhing and crying out for him."

          Willow paused, pressing a hand to her mouth and closing her eyes to shut out the tears. She yearned for that pain, yes, but remembering those months locked in a room and left alone for hour's even days on end, was almost unbearable for the redhead. "Then one day he unlocked the door and told me to leave. No explanation or reasoning, just a kiss. The next thing I remember is waking up at Giles' three days later. Laurel was sitting by my side and that was the first time I met her. They demanded to know everything, every detail, but their pressure only made me worse and I retreated further and further away until I eerily resembled Drusilla. Only then did they back off and give me room to breathe. I told them a few weeks later, some of it at least. Some of it, though, I keep only for myself."

          Wrapping her in his arms Spike held Willow against his chest and she clung to him with all her strength. Spike was her anchor. He was what kept Willow from falling to pieces and crumbling at his feet. She needed strength and support and Spike gave it to her in droves. It had come so subtly, Willow's dependence on Spike, that she had never even taken note of it until it had all but consumed her. The love Willow held for Spike was so fierce it scared her sometimes. Angelus had been the first to claim the young redhead but he was no longer the only. 

Willow could never live without Spike, just as she could never live without Angelus, and she could never choose between the two – she never wanted to.

"Shh," Spike crooned softly, running his fingertips along Willow's spine.

Willow placed a kiss at the base of Spike's neck and tugged at the hem of his shirt, urging it off and tossing it onto the floor. Lowering her lips to his chest Willow left a trail of butterfly kisses across his smooth skin, parting only to allow Spike to remove her blouse. His lips met hers in a forceful kiss, his fingertips bruising the delicate flesh around her hips. Willow saw Spike's eyes flash amber and watched his demon surface. Standing, Spike carried his lover to their bedroom and kicked the door closed.

Willow dreamt of Angelus that night, but not only Angelus – Angelus and Spike.

Prowling the streets, together, as they had done before Angelus was cursed with a soul. Spike had often told Willow of the twos exploits – Spike had been Angelus' favorite childe and Spike had so admired his sire. They were known as the Scourge of Europe and rightly so. Together with Darla and Drusilla they wrecked holy havoc for decades and reveled in the pain and death they left in their wake. Willow had always loved to hear of the "early years" and often prodded Spike to speak of them – which wasn't exactly difficult since he was _still_ a soulless vampire and loved to brag.

Angelus, too, talked often of his past. While in her captivity Willow had listened to him speak of the times before Spike and Drusilla when he was truly evil – young and impatient, acting wholly on his fancy and without thought. Vicious he was, and murderous, but foolish and rash. It would be many, many years before Angelus came to learn the arts of strategy and patience and truly earned the fear he instilled in others.

Willow dreamt of Angelus and Spike as they were a hundred years before and woke in a cold sweat, trembling with tears staining her cheeks – her dream forgotten.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

          "Hello?"

          "Giles!"

          Flipping on his bedside lamp Giles glanced at his clock. 1:18 am. Pushing himself up and leaning against his headboard Giles tucked the phone between his cheek and shoulder, wrapping his robe around his shoulders and standing out of bed. "Spike, it's one-thirty in the morning."

          "I know," the bleached vampire sounded frantic on the other end. "Have you heard from Willow?"

          "Willow? No, why?"

          "I can't find her anywhere."

          Now in his kitchen, Giles flipped on the light and stopped in his steps. His brow furrowed in sudden confusion. "What do you mean, you can't find her?"

          "I woke up and she wasn't anywhere in the house and I thought maybe she had a nightmare and went out to get some fresh air but there wasn't a note. I tried her cell but she left it here. I called the others but none of them have heard from her."

          "Alright, Spike, just try and calm down. I'm sure she just went out and forget to leave a note. How long has she been missing?"

          There was a pause. "I woke up around one."

          "So it's only been a half hour? Why don't you give her another twenty minutes," Giles suggested. "I'm sure she'll walk through the door at any minute."

          Spike took an unneeded breath before saying, "Okay. Twenty minutes."

          "And if she's not home by two, at the latest, give me a call and we'll go out and look for her, alright?"

          "Yeah. Thanks, Giles."

          "Anytime, Spike."

          Setting the cordless phone down on the kitchen table Giles let out a breath. Willow missing? Preposterous, Giles thought. She simply took a walk and forgot to leave a note. Entirely understandable seeing as she suffered such a traumatic ordeal just earlier that evening. Satisfied that Willow, whom he loved like his own daughter, was perfectly fine Giles went back upstairs to his bedroom and climbed back into his bed, shutting over the lamp and closing his eyes.

          The night was warm and still. The park empty and silent. Willow walked distractedly, her hands in her pockets and her head lowered. Against her bare shoulders a light breeze settled, ruffling her hair. Above her the streetlights glowed a harsh, iridescent yellow that shadowed her steps but Willow's eyes were focused at some unseen spot atop the sidewalk. Thoughts bare, mind clear of everything but its own blackness Willow wasn't aware of where her feet at led her until they came to a stop.

          Lifting her eyes she stood confused for a moment before realizing her surroundings. Behind her the iron gate hung ajar. Before her sat awkwardly climbing oaks, their limbs stretching out over a barren landscape dotted scarcely with unevenly place headstones. Dread leapt behind Willow's eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks. She had been here only once and swore never to return.

          Buffy had called it the Faceless Cemetery because all of the headstones, of which there were hardly two dozen, held no names only epitaphs and dates. It had been Buffy's place of escape, where she could truly be alone and, for a short time, step out of her destiny. Peace of spirit was what Buffy always strived to find and only in the Faceless Cemetery could she find it. No names meant no faces and no faces meant no eyes. No identity. Buffy could be anonymous amongst the nameless headstones and that's why she had asked Willow, on the only occasion in which the redhead had stepped foot beyond that gate, to be buried amongst them beneath a nameless headstone. Buffy wished to have, in death, that which she was denied in life: anonymity.

          Starring down at the headstone that read simply, 'A Destiny Fulfilled' Willow collapsed in a heap of tears. She hadn't gone to Buffy's funeral, hadn't the strength to say goodbye. Now, after two years, she had finally found the courage to let Buffy go.

          Time stood still and Willow lost herself in her tears. A cold touch against her neck woke her from the memories she was wrapped in. Opening her eyes Willow found herself once more in the park, the Faceless Cemetery a shadow on the distant horizon. Not knowing how she had gotten there Willow lifted her eyes and gasped. Pools of copper starred back at her, a touch caressing her arm.

          With trembling lips and watery eyes Willow admitted, "I feel so lost."

          "I'll always find you," was the whispered response.

          "I know," Willow sighed. "You always do, Angelus."


End file.
